thinking bought the past

things have happened.. latch and i still apart.. used to it.. honestly (and i cant believe im saying this) but i dont want to get back with him.. its funny how you can be blinded by love (or intense like) he really can be an absolute dick.. i wish i had noticed earlier but.. yeah meh.. the mother thing.. somehow she managed to found out about every single thing going on in my life.. every detail, issue, everything that went down and i feel utterly exposed.. but im still one up on her because she doesnt know that i know she found out everything by reading my emails.. so yeah.. i guess i have to be more careful.. still.. you can imagine how shit that whole event was. so kayleen seemed pissed off that i wouldnt join in on the bitching session. but she continues to give crap like 2 months after meta's gone so i guess she's had some significant impact on her. i hope to quit soon. shes nuts. aside from that i guess im fine. hah.. lies.. but no one needs to hear about that. im excited for meta about that guy. and hes her own age! how exciting. i hope i meet someone soon. i can remember him now.. he was hot!he really does have a good heart and i kionda got the feeling he was more sensitive or at least possessed the ability to be sensitive deep etc.. (thats a good thing) lol i sound like a loser.